Madison Protests

For the last week, downtown Madison has been the site of some pretty serious protests. I'm not going into it her because honestly, if you don't already know what's going on, it's probably because you don't want to, as this seems to be everywhere. We went down on Saturday afternoon to lend some support and to let our kids experience civil activism in action.

Pukefest 2011

Is this completely disgusting? Yes. Should I post it here? Probably not. But this was one of the worst stomach bugs I've ever witnessed. I feel the need to document it.

Our bout with this virus began on a Wednesday night. Abbie complained at dinner that her stomach hurt, but she rallied and seemed okay. After putting the kids to bed, Alan and I sat down to watch a movie together. A few minutes into it, we heard the sound all parents dread: Vomiting. I ran to the kids' room to discover Abbie puking her guts out. I don't know how, but she managed to hit EVERYTHING. We had a mattress cover on her bed, but when she puked off the side, well, the mattress wasn't so protected there. Mattress, sheets, blankets, pillow, floor, bedside table, stuffed animals, books, curtains, wall, storage bins under the bed. There wasn't much that she didn't hit. But that wasn't even all of it--She puked again in the bathroom when I went to put her in the shower. Unreal. I owe Alan about a years worth of cleaning for what he did in that room. I'm still dealing with nausea from being pregnant--When I found Abbie throwing up in her room, it was all I could do not to join her. I put Abbie in the shower, then put her to bed in our bed with a bucket nearby. She feel asleep quickly and did not throw up again.

In the morning, everybody seemed to be doing fine. I felt nauseous, but that's nothing new, so I didn't think much of it. Then Thursday evening rolled around. I started to vomit. Then I vomited some more. And some more. Then some more. I threw up all night, then during the day Friday, and Friday night. I threw up my Zofran over and over again. Friday day brought Alan's turn with the virus. He didn't throw up (he never does), but he sure did feel like crap. Vomiting that much sent my back into total spasms. I honestly thought I had kidney stones on both sides because I was in so much pain. It was horrendous. The back pain and body aches, along with the nausea lasted days. I didn't throw up again, but I couldn't eat anything for a while. I don't know how Nate escaped this thing. This was the stomach virus from hell.

More Legos

Nate and Abbie sometimes spend hours creating complex Lego scenes before they play with them. This was one of the simple ones, but it makes me smile thinking about how well they can play together. They both have incredible imaginations that allow them to delve into whole other worlds in their games. Honestly, their laughter during playtime is my favorite sound in all the universe.

SNOW

February brought us a lot of snow. A LOT OF SNOW. Madison Public Schools even closed for one day because of a blizzard that hit us. (That's basically unheard of.) Snow days are awesome, especially when schools close because of snow, not because it's too cold to be outside.  The kids spent a huge part of the day in the yard playing. Alan helped them to build an enormous snow fort.  This thing was epic.

  Blizzard:

 The snow was up past the tops of Abbie's legs. She did not enjoy this nearly as much as we did watching her.

 Nate ventured into the middle of the yard, but got stuck.

 Luckily, Daddy was there to rescue him.

 This is the snow fort.

 We even did some snow painting.

 Eventually, steps were added to the inside of the fort to lead up to a tower.

Sometimes my husband is more of a kid than my kids are. I love that about him.

Christmas 2010

These two shots sum up our Christmas perfectly--Excitement and Legos. Abbie, who absolutely loathes bedtime, went straight to bed on Christmas Eve with a smile on her face, eagerly awaiting Santa Claus and Christmas morning.  Morning came sooner than we all expected when Nate woke us up at 4AM. That's a bit early, even for me. The day was spent building Lego sets, big and small. We've found Ebay to be a great source for used Legos. When your children love them as much as ours do, you have to be economical! My parents were also incredibly generous in giving Nate the Lego Hogwarts. It was a big set, but the kids had it built by the 26th. 

Christmas evening was spent with our good friends, the Cannons. They came over to join us for Christmas dinner with their three adorable boys late in the afternoon. We enjoyed a traditional Christmas dinner, including ham, then devoured a Chocolate Peppermint cake that I baked earlier in the day. It was a wonderful way to spend our Christmas evening.

Mt. Olive Christian Preschool Christmas Program

In December, Abbie's preschool presented a Christmas Pageant.  You have no idea how stinkin' cute 13 preschoolers reenacting the Nativity can be.

Abbie and her cousin Josh were the shepards.

These are two of my favorite musical numbers. I love the squirming and I love the individual voices. It's just so adorable.

Storybook Ballet

For Abbie's ballet performance last semester, her class presented Aladdin.  They got to dress up as Jasmine--I was very impressed.

 This is Abbie's little friend Maddie.  They are friends from church and really enjoyed doing ballet together.  They're in the same class again this spring.

Here's a quick video displaying some of Abbie's ballerina skills:

Nate's Three Ring Circus

Last November (I know...), Nate's class presented a three ring circus in gym.  Here are a couple of shots:

 Nate's in the back, juggling scarves.

Tough

I know I haven't blogged in forever.  The pictures are just accumulating and the motivation is, well, absent. I remember being pregnant with Nate and loving absolutely every minute.  From the moment I saw two lines on that stick, I thought about that miracle baby growing inside of me.  I talked to him, rubbed my belly, wore maternity clothes long before I needed to.  He was a part of my every thought.  I also spent virtually my entire last year of nursing school pregnant; Nate was released from the NICU on the day Alan and I graduated.  I worked hard, did clinicals and classes, and still managed to graduate Summa cum Laude.  Looking back, comparing that pregnancy to this one, I wonder if I was stupid, naive, or if I've just become ridiculously jaded now.  Nate's pregnancy wasn't easy.  I was sick until 19 weeks, had some pretty wicked migraines, and then got Preeclampsia and HELLP which lead to bedrest, a 31 wk. induction and a baby who spent 5 weeks in the NICU, all while Alan and I tried to take finals and finish school.  But I loved being pregnant despite it all.

My second and third pregnancies started much like Nate's did.  I was sick, vomiting, but so excited to be having another baby. When they both ended in miscarriage, the first at 8 wks and the second at 12 wks, I was completely heartbroken.  Devastated is an appropriate word.  When I got pregnant with Abbie, I was terrified.  I was certain I'd lose her and didn't let myself get attached in the least.  I bled from 7-22 wks with Abbie, something that only certified in my mind that she'd never make it to term.  I spent wks 19-29 on bedrest with placenta previa, then 31-37 on bedrest with preterm labor.  By 31 wks, I was dilated to a 4 and spent the remainder of my pregnancy contracting nonstop.

When I found out I was pregnant again this last summer, I was so happy because we had waited so long to have another baby.  But I was also scared, nervous to think about the baby, worried that we would lose it too.  And we did.  But it wasn't any easier, despite my constant thoughts that it might end that way.  When I saw the two lines on the stick with this baby boy I'm carrying now, I cried.  I sobbed to Alan, not because I was so happy, but because I was utterly terrified.  I wasn't sure I could handle another loss, another dream wiped away.  On Thanksgiving, when I found myself dripping blood, I honestly cursed God for allowing it to happen again, especially on a day where we were supposed to be expressing our gratitude for all of our many blessings.  But then in the ER, when my doctor pulled up a tiny picture of my baby, and I saw the profile of his face and his tiny arms moving around, I cried again. This time it was because of joy and love.  The bleeding has continued since then, coming and going, and only adding to the worries in my head.  I've been sicker with this pregnancy than any of the others, losing weight and needing Zofran to be able to ingest anything.  I'm 19 weeks now, and while I have a few good days here and there, I am still sick.

Pregnancy is such a roller coaster.  I want to feel how I felt about Nate.  I want to be attached to this boy and think about him constantly.  I want to do accomplish things, keep my life going like there's nothing in my way.  But I find myself wondering all the time--How did I do it?  How on earth did I do nursing school?  I'm just so tired all the time now.  How did I keep such a happy and positive attitude throughout all of that?  Maybe I was naive, not having enough life experience at 22 to fully understand how wrong things could go.  But maybe I'm struggling too much now.  How do I know?  How do I decide where to walk on that fine line between hoping for something so desperately that you fall in love with him and knowing that he could be erased from my life at any time?  I know that there's no right answer.  I just wish that I could have the pregnancy of my dreams--Where I could have had a huge family, no losses, no sickness, no bedrest, being supermom to my other kids while growing babies until I'm too old to have anymore.  I have learned that that is not in the cards for me, but I think that when I meet God one day, I'm going to ask him why.