A Few Things I Forgot

-Noah loves the Long-Legged Sailor song. He smiles and grunts and laughs.
-Noah has been laughing for a few weeks now. He laughs when you tickle him, especially under his clavicles, but also when I laugh and he feels it.
-Noah goes to town on his fists. I'm surprised we haven't lost one down his throat by now.
-Noah loves it when I bounce on our big exercise ball with him. It calms him down almost immediately.
-"How big is Noah?" makes him smile every time. He looks a little surprised when I throw his arms out wide, but then grins from ear to ear.
-Tummy time isn't always his favorite, but he'll spend at least 5 minutes on his belly before he gets upset. Lately he hasn't really been working on picking up his head because he finds a fist to suck on--He is quite content with his head to the side and his hand in his mouth.
-Noah is much quieter now. Where he used to grunt all day and night, asleep and awake, he is now only noisy when he needs something, is happy and talking, or when he's filling his diaper.
-Noah loves to talk. The sound we hear the most right now is "ah-goo." There are also lots of ooos and aaahs. I love his cooing.
-We're currently dressing Noah in 3-6 month clothing, although it is getting a little tight, especially with a full diaper. I think we'll probably get another month out of it, though. I accidentally bought size 2 diapers instead of size 1, but they seem to fit just fine. I had noticed that the 1s were a little tight, so I guess we're moving up a size.
-Noah loves to be outside, AS LONG AS THERE IS NO WIND. This kid hates the wind. It makes soccer practice a little bit difficult. But in the evenings, when we're waiting for Alan to come home, and Noah is fussy-fussy, we sometimes walk outside. I just swaddle him up, then walk back and forth in front of the house while the kids ride their bikes. He calms down pretty quickly for that. Until we go back inside, at least...

I feel like time is passing so quickly. I can't believe that Noah is already three months old. I want to slow down the clock, savor every minute. I know that before long, my baby boy will be sitting and crawling and walking and talking. I just don't want to forget a thing.

4 weeks--Where did all this hair go?

Noah at 3 Months

This little boy brings us so much joy--I don't even know where to start. At three months, Noah is heaven to be around. His first couple of months on this planet were probably a bit stressful for him. He had a couple of very fussy months here. But now Noah has adjusted to life in our family and is starting to take after his big brother. Noah has turned into this little laid back baby. He still lets us know when he needs something (in a big way), but is very content to just sit in his bouncy seat or on the couch, watching the world around him. He loves to watch his hands; I see him in the mirror in his car seat, just staring at his moving hands. He loves to watch me fold laundry, too.

Our daily schedule is beginning to turn into a routine. Noah sleeps until about 6-6:30AM, then nurses for about a half an hour. Because he is sleeping through the night now, he tends to eat until he pukes. I'm not really sure what to do about this; he doesn't seem to know when to stop, but is happy to continue nursing forever and ever. After nursing, we get Nate and Abbie breakfast. Noah goes to his bouncy seat in the dining room and sits with the kids while they eat, then watches me make lunches. Nate and Abbie get dressed, then I do their hair and help them brush their teeth. I usually vacuum the dining room (where the dog sleeps) then, too. Noah could care less about the vacuum. He sometimes startles when it turns on, but then doesn't even seem to notice it after that. Once Nate and Abbie are ready for school, I get Noah dressed for the day. Waiting allows him to puke on his pajamas and avoids me having to change his clothes twice before 8AM.

Noah usually falls asleep in the car on the way to take the kids to school. We walk them to the playground and wait for Abbie to go into her classroom. Then we wave at her through the window by her cubby room and head home. Sometimes Noah stays asleep long enough for me to exercise, but usually he wakes up once we get home around 8:45. I nurse him again, swaddle him up (he won't sleep for longer than 10 minutes unless he's swaddled), bounce him to sleep, then lay him down for his morning nap. This morning nap tends to be the only good nap we get. The rest are just cat naps. While Noah naps, I spend about 30 minutes on the elliptical (usually going about 4-4.25 miles), then shower and get ready for the day. I do a load of laundry--Yes, a load every single day. (I'm blown away by how much laundry I do...) Then I get the house cleaned up.

Noah usually wakes up around lunch time, so then I nurse him again. We usually play for a while after this, then he watches me fold and put away the laundry that I started earlier in the morning. He's up for about 2 hours before he likes to go back to sleep. At 3 we leave to get Nate and Abbie from school. Noah likes to nurse around 4 or 5, usually right when I'd like to start fixing dinner. But Nate and Abbie love to play with him, so they can usually keep him occupied. The only time of day that Noah isn't happy-go-lucky is the evening. This typically starts right around dinner time, then lasts until he goes to bed. That happens somewhere between 8 and 10, although last night he was up until 11. So dinner-prep time is my least favorite time of day. Alan doesn't ever get home in time to help with dinner, and sometimes doesn't even make it home to eat with us, so it's just a hard time of day. After dinner, we all hang out as a family until about 7:30 when the kids go to bed. Alan has been doing bedtime since Noah likes to nurse for a while right around then. That is, selfishly, my favorite time of day. I get to sit on the couch with Noah, watch TV, and do nothing else. It's nice. Then we sleep and start the whole thing over the next day.

I'll be sad when this boy can roll and I can no longer leave him to sleep in random places around the house.

Loving his bouncy seat--It's his favorite place to observe his surroundings.

Still rocking the double chin. (And the bald head...)

Mickey is Noah's favorite animal. He smiles at Mickey almost as much as he does at Nate.

I get stopped just about everywhere I go by people telling me how gorgeous Noah is. I can't get through Target without a comment on his amazing eyes. I agree, of course.

Smiling at Nate.

Noah sometimes spends a half an hour in this chair in his room, staring at the airplanes on his ceiling. Maybe he'll be a pilot?

I am still completely smitten by this boy. I'm just in love. Even when I'm having a bad day, Noah fills my heart with happiness. He definitely knows his mommy now and smiles at me whenever he sees me. His favorite place in the house is his changing table (this boy loves a clean diaper) and smiles continuously whenever he's there. Noah is sweet and loving and happy. He's a great sleeper, a pretty good nurser (although I would classify him as somewhat violent), and a very content little boy. Noah has turned my world upside down, making every trial and tribulation I suffered to get him here absolutely worthwhile. Even though he's only been here for three months, I can't imagine my life without him.

Chasing the Geese

Barry the Bear

Abbie's class has a teddy bear named Barry. This bear goes home with a different child each weekend. Then at the end of the weekend, the kids write a story about their time with Barry and include pictures, making up a book about Barry.

Abbie got to bring Barry home this past weekend. She was so excited because she was the first student to get Barry. Here's Abbie's weekend with Barry in pictures:

33

We celebrated Alan's 33rd birthday on September 19th. I cooked a pasta dish with asparagus and a balsamic butter sauce, plus baked sweet potatoes. We had brownies for dessert. Nate bought Alan a model kit of a WWII aircraft carrier. Abbie built him a lego set of the two of them singing on a stage together. I gave Alan Season 7 of The Office on DVD. It was a good day.

The Invisible Mother

This was shared with me by the mother of one of my oldest friends. I have never needed it like I do right now.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! ‘Can you fix this?’, ‘Can you tie this?’, ‘Can you open this?’

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music, and literature - but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

Loving the Fish

The mobile above Noah's swing is filled with an aquarium scene and some plastic fish. He recently started LOVING those fish.

The Honeymoon Is Over

I miss my kids. This is their sixth day of school and, as they say, the honeymoon is over. The first day was hard; I cried a lot. But after that, once I realized that they were both happy at school, I started to enjoy the luxuries of having only one child at home. I can write out a to-do list and accomplish everything on it. I can exercise and shower every day. I can go out without herding a zoo. Today, though, I feel like it's the first day all over again. I would gladly take the chaos and inconveniences of having three kids at home to the loneliness that comes with only having a baby at home. Noah's great, but he can't really hold a conversation or make much noise. The house is so dang quiet. And so, I spent about 15 of my 30 minutes on the elliptical in tears again this morning (I guess it's a good thing I don't go to the gym...). And I've spent most of my time since then in tears, too. I just miss Nate and Abbie so much. I'm so glad it's Friday.

Weekend in Minocqua

We spent Labor Day weekend in Minocqua, WI with our good friends, the Cannons. They had rented a cabin on the lake and invited us to come stay with them. It was a last minute trip, but we're so happy that we went. We had a wonderful time.

How cute is this?!

Isaac and Alan teamed up to play the kids in UNO.

Abbie's new shoes.

Oh Nate.

This is pretty much how the trip went: A lot of fun. A lot of chaos.

There is an eagle (of some sort) perched in this tree.

Yes, Nate. Big brothers should always climb out of the boat and leave their little sisters.

This is where we stayed.

Isaac wasn't so sure about the water.

George was fearless.

See? George just kept on walking.

It was a bit chilly on our boat ride. And then it poured.

Noah really wanted to drive.

Our Noah was happy to stay warm in his seat.

Abbie looks just like my twin sister, Rachel, here.

There were bald eagles everywhere!

Abbie celebrated her 6th birthday!

The Kids