How God Answers Prayers (or Doesn't)

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to speak in church. I was asked to speak about how God answers our prayers. Several people have asked me for a copy of my talk. I thought that I would just put it up here because I really think that these words are inspired. I have never been a writer or a speaker, but people seemed to be moved by what I said. (I know, what?!) I figure that it must have come from God, because I really doubt that it came from me! Also, if you have any questions, please ask! I know that some of the vocabulary/names aren't familiar unless you're LDS, so feel free to ask. Here it is:

How God Answers Prayers (or Doesn’t)

So as of March 23 of this year, I will have been a member of this church for 7 years. In those almost 7 years, I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER, given a talk. Apparently this is not a subject that you should mention to your Visiting Teacher if she is married to a member of the Bishopric. In all seriousness, though, I have often wondered why I wasn’t asked to speak in church. I kind of just assumed that Heavenly Father really didn’t want anybody to hear what I have to say. So to be asked now, at this place in my life, is, well, confusing to me. I have been humbled by my preparations, difficult as they’ve been. I was asked to speak about how God answers our prayers. To be perfectly honest, this is difficult for me. Which I guess, as far as I can tell, is probably why I was asked to speak after 7 long years. Heavenly Father knew that I needed to discover how he answers our prayers--I only hope that this talk will benefit you as much as it did me. At one point in my life, I had a vast and solid testimony that Heavenly Father answers our prayers. I knew with every fiber of my being that Heavenly Father not only heard my prayers, but responded and blessed me with those things for which I prayed. The instance that replays in my mind is how we were blessed with Nate. For those of you who don’t know, my husband, Alan, had cancer in high school. After chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant, he went into remission. But because of his treatment, he was told that he was sterile and that he would never be able to have children. Even knowing this, Alan and I decided that we would pray for Heavenly Father to send us a baby. I can remember praying together, pleading every single night, without fail, that we would be blessed with a baby. Soon, I was pregnant with Nate. He is our miracle. And then we were blessed again, with our second miracle, Abbie. Heavenly Father answered our prayers. He answered our prayers in exactly the way that we hoped he would. The only thing is that…well, Heavenly Father doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way that we want him to. Sometimes we feel like He doesn’t answer our prayers at all. This is what I would like to talk about. We are told over and over again in the scriptures that Heavenly Father does answer our prayers. In Doctrine and Covenants 4:7, we are told, “Ask, and ye shall receive.” In Doctrine and Covenants 112:10, “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by thy hand, and give thee answers to thy prayers.” In Matthew 7:7-8 and 3Nephi 14:7-8, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” So why if it seems so clear here that Heavenly Father answers our every prayer, does it sometimes feel we are on our own? First, know that if you feel that way, you are not alone. And it’s not just me that is right there with you. When Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail, and his prayers remained unanswered, he prayed saying, “Oh, God where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?” When Jesus Christ was on the cross, he cried out, “My God, my God, why hast though forsaken me?” So even prophets, even our Savior, felt that Heavenly Father had not responded to their pleas; that He had not answered their prayers. After we realize that there’s not something wrong with us for doubting God, we must seek even more answers. We must seek to understand how God answers prayers. When we pray, we are speaking to our Heavenly Father. We are his children. He is our Father. He loves us. He wants to help us. How similar is that to a child speaking to his dad here on earth? The same. Imagine a daughter coming to you for help with her math homework. Is she being lazy and wanting you to just give her the answer? If so, you might tell her that she is capable of doing the work herself. You might tell her to do the best she can and you’ll check her answers after she’s done. Maybe, though, she is truly struggling. In that case, you might sit down and work through the problem with her. You might give her a hint or show her a different way to look at the problem. You might even give her the answer so that she’ll know how to do the next one. This is the same way that God answers our prayers. It’s not always a straight answer. He might want us to do some more work on our own. He might give us a new perspective or he might not tell us anything because he knows that we can figure it out for ourselves. I wish that I had time discuss in detail the many different ways that God answers our prayers. Let me just list off a few: There’s the burning in your bosom, the goosebumps, the classic confirmation from the Holy Ghost. There’s the feeling of dread or doom, the warning in our hearts that tells us we’re not doing what we should be doing. Our prayers our sometimes answered by other people--The story of the man stuck on his roof during a flood. He prays that God will save him. A man comes by with a canoe and offers him a ride. The man on the roof says that God is going to save him, so no thanks. A man then comes by with a motorboat and says you look like you really need help. “No thanks. God is going to save me.” A helicopter comes next and he refuses that too. Eventually he drowns. He gets up to Heaven and is griping to God about why he didn’t save him. God says, “Hello?! I sent you a canoe, a motorboat and a helicopter!” Our prayers can also be answered through different circumstances--Like you get fired from your job, but end up having to move away only to meet the love of your life at your first day of work. So what do we do when we pray and feel no confirmation and no warning? What do we do when it seems that our prayers are going unanswered? I say that we must act. We must act in faith. Look at Nephi. Nephi was told that he and his brothers were to go retrieve the brass plates from Laban. Laman and Lemuel murmured, but Nephi, said, “ I will go and do.” Nephi showed that he would have faith and go to retrieve the brass plates, despite not knowing how he was supposed to get them. Twice, Nephi and his brothers attempted to get the plates from Laban. After two times, Laman and Lemuel grew angry. They actually beat Nephi--They smote him with a rod. But even after being beaten, even after failing to do what he thought he was supposed to do twice, even after saying that he did not know “beforehand the things which I should do,” Nephi went back to Jerusalem for the plates of brass. Nephi did not know until he was standing over Laban in the street what he was going to do. Then, once he thought that he had figured it out, he realized that he was supposed to kill a man! I’m not sure that any of our unanswered prayers have led us to stand over some guy with a sword in our hand, thinking that what we were supposed to do was to break one of the 10 Commandments. And yet Nephi acted. And in that moment, the Spirit came to him. Nephi questioned the Spirit and then the Holy Ghost spoke to him. He was guided and directed, after he chose to act in faith. Elder Boyd K. Packer said, “You cannot make a major mistake without having been warned. I will make a promise to you, and you can test it. I have no hesitancy in making this promise… As you move forward in life, you cannot make a major mistake, any mistake that will have any lasting consequence in your life, without having been warned and told not do it. It cannot be done in this Church. It doesn’t work that way.” So we must act. We must go and do, just as Nephi did. Heavenly Father will not let us go astray, as long as we are listening. As long as we are listening. Sometimes, when we think that our prayers are not being answered, we’re just not listening. Or maybe we don’t want to hear what the Lord has to say. We are too intent on wanting confirmation of our own desires. When we pray, we must be open to the idea that Heavenly Father may not give us exactly what we want. Just like a father won’t always just give his daughter the answer to her math problem. Just like Nephi--There may be stumbling blocks and confusion in our path. Heavenly Father answers prayers in His own way, in His own time. We may never understand why some things for which we pray are granted and others are not. There may be some seemingly unanswered prayers with which we will struggle for the rest of our lives. I spoke in the beginning of my talk about the miracles that are my children. I said that I prayed for them and was blessed with them. It is true. What I did not say, though, was that after Nate and before Abbie, I had two miscarriages. I prayed for those babies too. Sometimes the things that we pray for are not a part of Heavenly Father’s plan for us. I guess that what we have to remember during our trials, during those times in our lives when we just don’t understand why things are happening or why they aren’t happening, is just that God hears our prayers. I promise you that he hears you. I promise you that he is listening. It is up to us to have faith that our answers will come in time. It is up to us to have enough faith to go and do, believing that God will guide us when the time comes. We just have to have faith that Heavenly Father will answer our prayers.