Alan, Jesus and PMS

So in case anybody hasn't spoken to my husband, I'll just put it out there that he is rather sarcastic. That is to say, he has a warped sense of humor. He is irreverent at times (most times?). He's hilarious. Today in church, Alan blessed me with some of his "oh so lovely" thoughts on Christ, the Beatitudes and the Sermon on the Mount. Keep in mind that he was whispering this to me during Sunday School, while we were sitting in the front row. We were discussing Matthew 5, specifically what it meant when Christ called us (the multitudes) "the salt of the earth." Here's Alan's logic: We are the salt of the earth. Salt retains water. Jesus is the "living water." (See the story of the woman at the well.) "So you should be happy when you're PMSing and bloated because it's really Jesus!"

Look Out! LIGHTNING!!!!!!!!!