First Grade

Today was Nate's first day of first grade.  Nate fell right to sleep last night--Alan and I both remember horrible insomnia before our first days of school (even in college!).  Needless to say, we were both relieved to see his peaceful face shortly after lights out.  At breakfast, Nate told us that he was "scared for first grade."  My heart was racing at the memory of the first day (three weeks) of kindergarten.  We reminded him that he already had friends in his class and that he'd see all his old friends on the playground; both thoughts seemed to allay his fears, somewhat at least.

When we arrived on the playground, Nate found his line, then found that two of his good buddies from his kindergarten class AND his soccer team were also in Mrs. Powell's class.  These three boys were called The Three Musketeers last year--They were fire on the soccer field when all played at the same time and a kick-in-the-pants off the field too.  Nate's little face lit up like a full moon when he saw those boys in line with him.  And that was it.  Suddenly my nervous, hand-holding buddy was ready to go.  Nate was thrilled to find that he had his own locker, next to Ian (one of the musketeers) of all people.  His class was filled with friends from soccer, making Alan and I even more happy that we signed him up last fall.  He literally knew at least 3/4 of his class from soccer.  What a joy.

As I kissed and hugged Nate goodbye, I saw a huge smile on his face.  What a contrast to last year.  The first day of kindergarten left Nate trembling and with tears pouring down his face as I walked out the door.  Today, he didn't even look after us.  I peeked back before finally leaving and saw him talking with Sophie, the girl I left him sitting next to on the first day of kindergarten as well.  Only today, they were both laughing.

I cried walking away.  I cried in the car.  I cried when we got home.  I love my Nate-Nate so much.  Even though I know that he's happy and that it's really good for him to be in school, it just feels so wrong to me to leave my child somewhere else for the entire day.  Nate's my little buddy, my missionary companion if you will.  I got so used to having him home all summer--He was my sidekick.  I honestly felt like I was missing a limb without him around today.  The house was too quiet and everywhere I looked, I saw little reminders of what Nate and I had been doing for the last three months.  But then I spoke with a dear friend who sent her daughter to kindergarten today and was doing just fine.  I decided I needed to buck up.  I had one last cry and then got busy with my day.  I remembered how much I love being with Abbie and how she thrives with so much one-on-one attention.  We got a lot done and had so much fun together.  I can't even begin to describe how much easier it was knowing that Nate was happy at school too.  And when I picked him up, he was still smiling.  He said his day was "great" and he's excited to go back tomorrow.  I can't ask for more than that.

The Three Musketeers