Daddy's graduating today!
No more med school!!
Waiting for the ceremony to start
Alan getting his hood (That's his tassel that looks like huge sideburns)
"The Chair"
Daddy's a doctor!
Dr. and Mrs. Alan Dimond
NO ABBIE--NO!!!!!!!!!!
This is such an Abbie face
So we finally graduated! It was a happy day and we are SO glad to be done. I look back at the past four years and marvel that we made it through. We went through so much and we survived. It's really nothing short of a miracle. I don't know if med school is this horrible for everybody or if we just had a rough patch of life during it, but it was just so unbelievably awful for us. The hours, the call, the lack of respect (for students and their families), the lack of routine, and the hours again--Ugh. I can't even think about it. I'll have to write about this another time. Yeah, it was that bad.
This morning, I had a follow-up meeting with my psychiatrist. I am happy, and proud, to say that I am doing well. I am off all of my meds except for one anti-depressant. After a year of depression, that is huge! I was on more meds than I can actually imagine and now I'm down to one. I am blown away when I think about the last year--5 (or 6?) hospitalizations, close to 20 electro convulsive treatments, close to 10 different medications, therapy--that's all just for the depression. It doesn't even include the 3 weeks I spent in the hospital for Pneumonia and the thoracotomy to treat it, the months of PT and pain that followed. How did I survive? My psychiatrist told me today that I seemed like a different person, somebody she'd never seen before. I've been seeing her since my post-partum depression after Abbie. Have I really not been "better" since then? She asked what has changed. I told her honesty. I am now honest with myself. I am honest with others. I owned my illness. I stopped letting fear of what others might think overwhelm me. If stigma is an issue, I want to teach and if people think poorly of me, then I don't need them in my life. I was never able to say things like that before. I refuse to let depression run (or end) my life. I refuse to allow others to influence my self-esteem and self-concept like I used to. I am changed.
This morning, I had a follow-up meeting with my psychiatrist. I am happy, and proud, to say that I am doing well. I am off all of my meds except for one anti-depressant. After a year of depression, that is huge! I was on more meds than I can actually imagine and now I'm down to one. I am blown away when I think about the last year--5 (or 6?) hospitalizations, close to 20 electro convulsive treatments, close to 10 different medications, therapy--that's all just for the depression. It doesn't even include the 3 weeks I spent in the hospital for Pneumonia and the thoracotomy to treat it, the months of PT and pain that followed. How did I survive? My psychiatrist told me today that I seemed like a different person, somebody she'd never seen before. I've been seeing her since my post-partum depression after Abbie. Have I really not been "better" since then? She asked what has changed. I told her honesty. I am now honest with myself. I am honest with others. I owned my illness. I stopped letting fear of what others might think overwhelm me. If stigma is an issue, I want to teach and if people think poorly of me, then I don't need them in my life. I was never able to say things like that before. I refuse to let depression run (or end) my life. I refuse to allow others to influence my self-esteem and self-concept like I used to. I am changed.
first off, the pictures are PHENOMENAL! the kids are, i'm convinced, the cutest kids in the universe...you look beautiful. second off, congratulations. you have no clue how warm i feel in my heart hearing that you finally feel...safe...and yourself again. i love you guys.
ReplyDeleteEm,
ReplyDeleteSahlom from Israel. Dad & I are thrilled to know that you are finally feeling better and have found a happy path for yourself. We love you! Hugs to all of you.
I certainly appreciate your honesty. I like true stories: they help me evaluate my life without sensing criticism or judgment from others, which is something I'm prone to feel. Thanks for sharing your stories!
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